Layoff Party

My co-workers got me a birthday cake, celebration at 3pm in the breakroom. Little did they know (nor did I) that the purpose of my prior meeting at 2pm with my manager was to lay me off. I was escorted out, I am in the parking lot, one of them just texted me now, photo […]

Error Between Keyboard and Chair

Earth’s most passive aggressive client contracted my company for a web app to assist in hiring. Users send employment applications to qualified applicants. These applications include an invitation with one or both employment contracts the company offers. The user selects which contract(s) to send during the invitation. While testing the product a user accidentally selected […]

Social Slacking

…over the last six months these two [Social Networking] “professionals” have spent most of their time strong-arming employees who have large social followings (including myself) into giving them our social usernames and passwords for personal accounts, so they can Tweet and Post things on our behalf without our permission. I noticed in my LinkedIn timeline […]

In Bowling They Call Three Strikes a Turkey

It is with great pleasure that I announce that [CEO] has been presented with the [name of corporate overlord] [name of bullshit award] in the past month.This is a great honor not only for [CEO] but for all of us here at [facility name].  Each year [corporate overlord] recognizes achievements of their facilities.  A Chairman’s […]


So, at the bottom of every email my boss ends me is his signature. At the very bottom of the signature, it says: “T.E.A.M. Together Each Achieves More” By achieving more he must mean that the employee spends his time back pedaling all of his bosses mistakes and errors?

Great New Job Title

This just in… So, I had my annual evaluation yesterday. Well, every year without fail, they change my department around (I work for a PR firm). My job stays EXACTLY the same every year, but they call it something different every time. Drum roll please… This year I am… “Inter-Departmental Dynamic Motivational Officer“

Chain of Command

I work for an ad agency a while ago which opened a new department who was tasked operating a new facet of our client relations.  The group was organized as such. VP Director of Sales (me) Director of Account management Account manger 1 Account manger 2 Account manger 3 Well after about a month of […]

BFF Consultants, LLC

Our company hired some consultants to review our accounting software and procedures. One of them was a midget, but that’s not the funny part. What’s funny is I found out the cost of the consultant group was $75,000. Their report said our accounting software is crap but we don’t have the budget leftover (after we […]

Our Big Fat Greek Layoff

We have a large group of our team who are leaving us for various reasons by the end of this week/month. We would like to have a get together tomorrow at the Big Fat Greek Restaurant at 11:30 a.m. to say our goodbyes and wish them all well in their future endeavors. It is a […]

Boss Boss

Dear BS Job, three months ago my boss told us that we would produce a draft without discussing the project requirements with the VP first, in our boss’ words to “show we’re innovative”. Then we’d share the project with upper management, “wow them” and “invite feedback”. [Ed: I love how ‘feedback’ basically means ‘harsh criticism’ […]