Layoff Party

My co-workers got me a birthday cake, celebration at 3pm in the breakroom. Little did they know (nor did I) that the purpose of my prior meeting at 2pm with my manager was to lay me off. I was escorted out, I am in the parking lot, one of them just texted me now, photo […]

Our Big Fat Greek Layoff

We have a large group of our team who are leaving us for various reasons by the end of this week/month. We would like to have a get together tomorrow at the Big Fat Greek Restaurant at 11:30 a.m. to say our goodbyes and wish them all well in their future endeavors. It is a […]

Layoff Exitement

As you are well aware, we have been experiencing a dynamic marketplace during Q3 and Q4. To ensure our competitiveness moving forward, recent job actions have consolidated and streamlined our product development teams. Let us redeploy our efforts and leverage our existing focus so that our new direction will bring us enhanced viability and momentum.

Contest: Best Terms For “Firing A Bunch Of People”

Has your company recently had a “downsizing”, “restructuring”, or “staff reduction”? Sure we’ve all heard those before, but what about really CREATIVE BULLSHIT like “job action” or “payroll adjustments” or “right sizing”? Here are the best 10 that were sent in…thanks and enjoy!? # Resource Leveling # Job Abolishment # Involuntary Departures # Separation from […]

Reward System

[ed: This is an instant classic.] The following email was sent to the staff after announcing a third round of layoffs and paycuts for remaining staff: In these challenging times our “We Achieve” program is a great cultural support. Please recognize people who are role models for our values that are so important: Motivation Innovation […]

That’s One Way To Say It

Due to rough economic conditions we are required to cut cost to become more competitive, to achieve this we will be performing corporate streamlining.


Due to the on-going economic slowdown in our industry, we are forced to take additional steps to manage costs and restructure the business. These actions are part of a global program to align the company’s cost structure with reduced revenue levels.