Bullshit Job » Promotion

Chain of Command

Cubed00d — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 17:10:00 +0000

I work for an ad agency a while ago which opened a new department who was tasked operating a new facet of our client relations. The group was organized as such.

VP
Director of Sales (me)
Director of Account management
- Account manger 1
- Account manger 2
- Account manger 3

Well after about a month of this the VP decided she has had enough and quits and then promptly goes on vacation. A day later the Director of Account manager also quits. But the company really doesn’t want her to leave so they offer her the position of VP of the Department and an incentive to say, which she accepts.

Return the original VP back from her refreshing vacation, during which she apparently discovered that being unemployed is not what it’s cracked up to be and promptly informs the company that she is staying. So they say ok, and she is made Executive VP.

Now the department looks like this:

Exec VP
VP
Director of Sales (me)
No Manager
- Account manger 1
- Account manger 2
- Account manger 3

Now nothing gets done and I have an extra boss.

Senior Schmenior

Cubed00d — Sat, 12 Nov 2005 18:11:02 +0000

Please help me in extending congratulations to [Name], he has just been promoted to Senior Web Developer. [Name] has helped us on many of our past projects and done a superb job. Now that we are expanding the team, [Name] is being promoted to a position of leadership amongst his peers. As an additional reward, [Name] will be receiving a laptop from the company. [Ed: You thank this poor guy by giving him a laptop so he take his work home at night and put in even more hours for your company? Some reward. I'd rather stay 'Junior'.]

Working Lunch

Cubed00d — Wed, 01 Dec 2004 18:53:06 +0000

To: [All]
From: [CEO]
Due to the recent events and the uncertain purchasing climate of the American consumer, we have been forced to make some changes at [Company]. Starting immediately, empoyees are asked to shorten their lunch hour to 30 minutes and work through that period. We need extra effort, drive, and focus to acheive in this challenging time. We would also like to reinforce our request that all time off, even if it is only a few hours for a doctor’s appointment, be cleared with your manager at least one week before that date. Adherence to these guidelines will be a factor in your periodic review.

An email weeks earlier:
To: [All]
From: [CEO]
…all salary increases or promotions at annual reviews are suspended until further notice.
[Ed: Screw it then, I'm off to lunch! What's the point!?]