CEOs and Their Special Forms:
Embedded within a performance culture is the ability and desire to seek opportunities to enhance performance throughout the organization. I believe the Maximizing Claim Productivity Worksheet we have created will enable us to continue to find ways to improve our productivity, implement changes in a timely fashion and appropriately assess the impact of such modifications.

The leadership and willingness of the plan champions to accept a greater role in enhancing our Claim productivity is a sign of Excellence!
[Ed: Extra strength bullshit bolded for your convenience!]

Dress Code Blackmail:
An immediate improvement in personal presentation is required by some employees. The wearing of a [company] polo shirt is permitted at any time. If not wearing a [company] polo shirt then all male employees are required to wear business attire including a tie.

Push the Envelop:
We have elevated the quality of our work, we have added exciting and challenging new clients to our roster, and some of the assignments we were privileged to work on this year continue to inspire our team to excel and push the envelop[e] [Ed: sp!]. I'd say we did quite well in living up to our core value -- adding value to our clients, don't you agree? [Ed: Oh yes sir!] That could not have happened without your dedication and hard work. Our team continues to excel and stretch itself to fulfill our mission and to live up to our core values. For that I am grateful to all. As a token of our appreciation, you will find a special Holidays gift in your next pay check -- $100 Special Holidays Bonus (approximately). [Ed: What exactly does $100 'approximately' mean?] Treat yourself or someone you love to a little special something, you've earned it!"
[Ed: Thanks Boss, now I can pay my health insurance deductible!]

Wacky Manager Speak:
Just a few little highlights....
"We're not trying to boil the ocean here."
"Do you have any bandwidth to work on a support call?"
"We need to interface one-on-one offline post team meeting."