Bullshit Job » contest http://www.bullshitjob.com Office bullshit, fun stories, pages, office quizzes and sounds Tue, 02 Aug 2011 17:10:00 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 Contest: Best Terms For “Firing A Bunch Of People” http://www.bullshitjob.com/2006/03/contest-best-terms-for-firing-a-bunch-of-people/ http://www.bullshitjob.com/2006/03/contest-best-terms-for-firing-a-bunch-of-people/#comments Sat, 11 Mar 2006 23:21:00 +0000 Cubed00d http://www.bullshitjob.com/?p=123 Has your company recently had a “downsizing”, “restructuring”, or “staff reduction”? Sure we’ve all heard those before, but what about really CREATIVE BULLSHIT like “job action” or “payroll adjustments” or “right sizing”? Here are the best 10 that were sent in…thanks and enjoy!?
# Resource Leveling
# Job Abolishment
# Involuntary Departures
# Separation from the Organization
# Workforce Redeployment
# Headcount Reduction
# “Due to lack of work…”
# “The company has decided to move forward…”
# “Your job has been impacted.”
# Payroll Reduction Plan (PRP)

[Ed: PRP is my favorite. It sounds like saving money for retirement ....but NO, WAIT! You're fired! ]

]]> http://www.bullshitjob.com/2006/03/contest-best-terms-for-firing-a-bunch-of-people/feed/ 6 Mission Statement Winner http://www.bullshitjob.com/2004/05/mission-statement-winner/ http://www.bullshitjob.com/2004/05/mission-statement-winner/#comments Tue, 04 May 2004 16:43:12 +0000 Cubed00d http://www.bullshitjob.com/?p=58 [Company Name] is committed to establishing a heritage of integrity in the marketplace. We will accomplish this by building upon the talents and skills of each company representative to effectively support the diverse needs of our customers. We must also represent our broad range of business products with the utmost of professionalism and offer our customers unsurpassed service, holding true to the company motto, “We Mean Business”.
[ed: Indeed!]

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