Email From Boss Bullshit:
About that [employment contract] we talked about. You know that our business can't run without you, your extremely important to the function of this organization, however we can't make an exception for just one employee.
[Ed: Only managers have logic like this.]

Email Signature Bullshit:
[ed: This appears on a boss email signature line. Use this one in a meeting and watch those manager heads nod with delight!]

"Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by attacking back."

Conference Call Bullshit:
To: [All]
From: [CEO]

I would like to spend 10-15 minutes speaking with all of you. Dial-in information for the conference call is listed below. The call begins promptly at 11:45 am.

Thank you
President & CEO

(Good way to liven employee morale, before the holidays... needless to say, we expect more axes soon..) :)

Mission Statement Runner Up:
"Create value for our customers by delivering innovative IP based services in a cost effective manner, that illustrates our commitment to a win-win solution and establishes a relationship based on mutual trust and satisfaction. Cultivate our relationships with our extended teams, strive for continuous improvement and offer an environment that encourages our team members to achieve their full potential while demonstrating our winning attitude."
It's on my mouse pad, so it must be true.
[ed: Notice the skillful use of the old school 'win-win' in a "bullshit cocktail" with 'innovative' and 'cultivate'. Potently fecal! A little stale (read: 1999) in the buzzword usage, but still strong enough to knock you on your ass! Bravo!]