Resume Bullshit:
The following appeared on a resume recently sent to my company...these bullet points contained the worst offenses, although the entire resume was quite a stinker. [Ed: I'm sure he was hired instantaneously.]

• Project: OMCR MIB/UI For CDMA EGP Feature
• Developed OMCR MIB/UI Enhanced Generic Processor feature for CDMA network
• Designed feature to have the capacities of FEP, CDP, OMP, CPP Devices, to improve their logical functions, and to reduce the number of those processors per transcoder Improved other performaces

Coversational Bullshit:
These are conversations recently overheard at my job and taken from discussions in meetings. Most of the quotes are from my boss.

"if the delta is 180 degrees it takes 2 weeks, if the delta is 360 degrees, it might take 2 months, so what's the delta on this? a reasonable amount of delta will require a reasonable amount of code tweak. a substandial amount of delta increases rev-time exponentially"

"we need to drill down on this marketing document to a fine degree of granularity"

"we've got a dinconnect here, am i building a truck, an SUV, or a sedan with this firmware app?"

"how can we 'hand-stitch' this trial schema? let's facilitate that development, and determine how to stitch in our product without rebuilding the entire catalog." [Ed: Sewing terms used in software meetings? How come I never thought of that? It's the next big thing! "Let's 'embroider' a custom solution for the team!"