Holiday Bullshit:
We have to work the day after Thanksgiving.
[Ed: Enough said.]

Layoff Bullshit:
Due to the on-going economic slowdown in our industry, we are forced to take additional steps to manage costs and restructure the business. These actions are part of a global program to align the company’s cost structure with reduced revenue levels.

Policy Bullshit:
To: [All]
From: [CEO]
Due to the recent events and the uncertain purchasing climate of the American consumer, we have been forced to make some changes at [Company]. Starting immediately, empoyees are asked to shorten their lunch hour to 30 minutes and work through that period. We need extra effort, drive, and focus to acheive in this challenging time. We would also like to reinforce our request that all time off, even if it is only a few hours for a doctor's appointment, be cleared with your manager at least one week before that date. Adherence to these guidelines will be a factor in your periodic review.

An email weeks earlier:
To: [All]
From: [CEO]
...all salary increases or promotions at annual reviews are suspended until further notice.
[Ed: Screw it then, I'm off to lunch! What's the point!?]

Email Bullshit:
Please refrain from using our email system to send MP3 or movie files within the company. We are trying to conserve our bandwidth for the website, and it's expensive as you know. We don't want any slowdowns or outages because our employees are using all the bandwidth for themselves!
Thanks!
[President]
[Ed: Hey assclown, the mail server that sends mail via the network isn't usually connected to the internet, but thanks anyhow.]