Layoff Bullshit: Fellow [XYZCorp] Team Members
As you are well aware, we have been experiencing a dynamic marketplace during Q3 and Q4. To ensure our competitiveness moving forward, recent job actions have consolidated and streamlined our product development teams. Let us redeploy our efforts and leverage our existing focus so that our new direction will bring us enhanced viability and momentum.

HR Bullshit:
Welcome [Employee Name], our new VP of Paradigm and Creative Development! [Employee Name] comes to us from [Other Company] where he was Brand Manager in their Stategic Services Devision. He holds a BA from Vassar and an MBA from Harvard. [Employee Name] was responsible for internet visiblity for the [Product], which was recently sold to [3rd Company]. He office is next to mine along the north wall, drop by and say 'hello'! Also, [Employee Name] will be joining us from now on at our weekly engineering team meetings to help us develop a more brand-inclusive product perspective.

Useless Forms Bullshit:
From now until the end of FY01, all engineering contractors are required tp submit their timecards in person, not via inter-office, by Monday morning by 2pm. Timecards will NOT be accepted on Friday any longer by Payroll. Those who are planning on being absent on Monday will need to have their manager approve the timecard and submit it for them on Mondays. Timecards received after 2pm will result in a one-week delay of payment.