[ed: This is an instant classic.]

The following email was sent to the staff after announcing a third round of layoffs and paycuts for remaining staff:
In these challenging times our “We Achieve” program is a great cultural support. Please recognize people who are role models for our values that are so important:

Motivation
Innovation
Initiation
Communications
Collaboration

For those who are new, please find the cards that represent each value at the reception desk. Bi-monthly we recognize the 3 people who received the most cards with rewards. [ed: Yes you heard it correctly, they are actually filling out cards of people who demonstrate the above traits and recognizing them for ‘mission statement’ compliance. I wonder what the recognition gift is? Hopefully, it’s a fruit basket.]