BFF Consultants, LLC
Our company hired some consultants to review our accounting software and procedures. One of them was a midget, but that’s not the funny part.
What’s funny is I found out the cost of the consultant group was $75,000. Their report said our accounting software is crap but we don’t have the budget leftover (after we paid them) to upgrade the software, convert to new software, or take action on most of their recommendations.
What’s even funnier is we’re hiring them to review us again next year.
I think the big question is:
How do you become a consultant ?
Back in the 80s, I worked at a very successful slide-making company (you know, charts and graphs for other corporations’ slide shows) which made graphics for blue chip corps all over the midwest. The owners were greedy bastards and they weren’t making as much money as they wanted, so they called in a consultant.
This guy was a piece of work (one of those “what color is your parachute” types) and eventually talked the idiot owners into changing business models completely. The company stopped making slides and tried to start selling desktop systems produced by Canon (which they no longer produce at all.). People started jumping ship like crazy, I was the last one to go and held on to the bitter end.
You guessed it, they went under. Consultants are great, aren’t they? Pretty much like couple’s counseling: if you get it, chances are you’re going to break up soon.